ernads: Fenic (Default)
Most will be under cut for safety reasons.

So, *taking a deep breath* here we go )

And now the conclave must begin.
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
If we want to sum this episode in three sentences:

Bellamy and Pike continue to make terrible decisions while Octavia (and Kane and Abby) Kick Ass. Oh, my beloved Octavia.

Jaha and the City of light plot is getting more complex. Titus is in it, and I trust him not, oh my

And Lexa is….beyond words. Each of her scenes is pure gold. She and Clarke shine together.

We start at Polis: The commander is napping, and the commander of death is sketching her. Aww. But this pretty picture doesn’t last long before Lexa wakes up from a nightmare. She says the former commanders are haunting her and she’s worried she’s destroying their legacy. “Your legacy will be peace,” Clarke says.

Than Clarke receives a little surprise from King Roan: The last of the Mountain Men, Emerson. In a box. (Poor Lexa. She probably recalled the day she had received Costia’s head in a box…)

Lexa asks Clarke to decide the fate of the last of the Mountain Men. Titus, who thinks Lexa’s judgment is clouded, wants death. Lexa says that’s the old way, and she wants Clarke to echo this statement, but instead Clarke says she wants Emerson dead. Lexa makes sure she knows what this means: Emerson can be banished or he can die by Clarke’s own hand. She has until sundown to decide.

Of we go to Arkadia. This arc is more difficult for me to watch and write about, so I will sum it as:
Pike continues to travel down the path of refusing to acknowledge the atrocities of Earth’s past by making the same mistakes.

Kane and Abby try to slow him down at least, and prevent another massacre. And Octavia risks her life, several times, in order to warn the Grounders about Pike’s deadly intentions.
Some of the Grounders evacuate. Some plan to fight back. And here comes Ballemy and his followers, right into the trap.

So now Bellamy will have to choose between his baby sister, who was his first priority for his entire life, and Pike’s policies. I do not think he will choose to switch sides now. This will be horrible.
During the above, Jaha and ALLI are trying to get everyone over into “the city of light”. Or drunk and enslaved to ALLI. Thanks god there is Abby, but I’m afraid for her, since it’s obvious that ALLI knows she is a threat to her plans. She will try to get rid of her.

Than we are back with Clarke and Lexa. Where finally Clarke takes her own advice and realizes that “blood must not have blood” has to be applied to everyone — not just people she likes. At Polis that evening, during a death ceremony, Titus hands her the knife to kill Emerson, but she says, “no,” that she doesn’t deserve the peace his death might bring. She looks at him and says, “I wouldn’t be killing you for what you’ve done — I’d be killing you for what I’ve done.” Emerson is not pleased.

Titus is also not pleased. He wants Lexa to kill Emerson. But she speaks to the crowd, over their murmurs, and says the crimes of the Mountain can’t be saved by killing one man. She goes on to give a speech that could very well be her legacy as a commander, saying that they are living in a new world in which violence isn’t answered by violence.

Lexa banishes him for life to live with the ghost of those he lost, which is a pretty brutal thing to say, even to Emerson. Clarke finishes it by saying, “May you live forever.” Damn.

See why I’m in love with Lexa?

Lexa, Lexa, please don't die....
ernads: Fenic (Default)
So we've had now two episodes from the third season. So far, I thought it's rather meh. There were some things that impressed me, but overall, the first two seasons of The 100 started each with quite a bit more of a bang.

We had lot's of Octavia, which is always a Win. Octavia is awesome. We had also our lovely Roan, kidnapping and dragging Clarke off by hair hair, almost. (He is hot and good looking and a great actor, and I loved him. Also, the piece of info on him in the end is intriguing. I'm looking foreword learning a lot more on him in the next few episodes. Hoping it will give us more insight into the grounders history and tradition and society, and what happened between Lexa and the Queen of the Ice nation, how did this enmity develop, and why can go on and on on that.

Also, I was impressed with the Clarke-Bellamy reunion in episode two, with Roan, and of course, with the tiny bit off Clarke-Lexa interaction we've had.

And a bit more on that:

I love the dynamic between Clarke and Bellamy: They anchor each other. There is so much trust and a sense of family in their relationship. It's beautiful to see. Although, I admit that if those two will ever become a romantic partner, I will be intensely disappointed. It will just turn this lovely relationship into one more fucking cliquish. And me, I can't stand cliquish. Don't do it, show, just,

Yeah, I know, all the Bllercalrke people are probably howling for my blood now. Tough luck guys.

The relatiohship I'm invested in is Lexa-Clarke;

The Clarke-Bellamy relationship is balancing Clarke’s relationship with Lexa: If Bellamy is a familiar source of warmth, comfort, security, family, than Lexa is explosive – firework, passion, dynamite. In their brief reunion toward the end of the episode, Clarke didn’t lower her eyes from Lexa, not for a second, and there was so much fire in them.

In the end, though, I think that Lexa, because of her position and because of the decisions she had to make, can understand Clarke better than anyone, better even than Bellamy. He acts from his heart, while Lexa acts from her head. It makes her seem cold - but she is not, not at all. She cares a great deal. Only, unlike Bellamy, she does not have the luxury of acting on it.
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
Even if I don't know how good is the story itself, how well did I capture the voices, and so on. But it's something I wanted to for years, and never had the guts to go ahead and do it.

But - I didn't try my own hand. Didn't think I'm good enough, or that my English is good enough, or that I will not get stuck in the first paragraph. I almost reconcile myself to the fact that this is beyond me and not something I can accomplish.

I don't know what forced my hand after all this time into trying. But - here is he lesson of mercy


Jan. 21st, 2016 11:27 pm
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
Oh,god, look at them, just look at them...

Lexa and Clarke.Third Season.

Please forgive me if it takes me a while to close my mouth. Or, to quote dear,(polite, diplomatic, full of tact...) [personal profile] antongarou, "stop drooling on my laptop." (He also admitted there is a some justification for me to destroy my laptop this way,though:)

But dear god, those two.The amount of firework they manage to produce just in a still picture . I can't imagine the dynamite they will explode when they meet up.

I know there are many who hope Clarke will end up with Bellamy, but - lets be honest here- Had she ever looked at him with so much fire and, well, passion? I don't recall it so. There was love and comradeship and need, but not that. She never looked like that around him.

I really those two end up together,I've never seen a relationship that interested me so much as the one between those two.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I have no words to express how much IT’s buffoonery disgust me. He is a parody of a human being.
Also, his face are so utterly full of smugness, self-importance and disregard and contempt for others that he is literally ugly. Does not matter how he really looks – by now, I can’t see anything but his mask of contempt.

Really can’t wait for him to move on to his next job.

The fact that I’m more depressed around him than away from his is enough.

I thought it might not be a bad idea to think back and sum up the more positive things from this week;

So – the Goblin (IT) is moving for another job in CP and another office. Can’t wait to get rid of the Oaf.

Sam was adorable this week. Twice, with her feline Six Sense, opened the door around dawn, hopped onto the bed, and woke me up from an Extra Bad nightmare. And she was cute with it to – she woke me up by rubbing against me, and then simply hopped down again and went out to play.

We got a Big Book Of Tea! All about it’s history. And also some Almond juice.

I’m almost finishing with my re-watch of the 100. The Netflex episodes are accompanied by Subtitles, and that allows for a much more rewording watching experience. I am waiting so much for the third season, and meanwhile, am reading everything I can find on tumblr about spoilers, what-might-happen, what people want to see, and so on. And also. Everything Lexa.

Next in my Watch list – Doctor who, the Ninth Season. Although, those are not in Netflix, alas. But I do have some alternative watching programs. (Popcorn View is no longer a free program, but I’m using T.V links for streaming Video.)

Party tomorrow! And despite the fact that two (or maybe even three) very dear friends of mine can’t come, I know that a lot of other dear friends have said they will come. Should be lots of fun.

And B-day Party for Shear on Saturday. So the weekend will be extremely loaded, but fun and full of company.

You know, it worked. I actually feel better now. I think I will go and redo that shipping label, and then off to eat.
ernads: the 100 (the 100)
* After three stable days (aside from some annoyance over my idiotic Team Managers and Members) I think I can safety judge myself to be back in fully clear and sane frame of mind. It's a 180% over last week and Sunday.

* Went for two doctor consultations yesterday,including an ENT (Ear Doctor). He checked me thoroughly and concluded I have a slight decrease in my hearing. However, he thinks it's a combo of ADHD and a minor damage to the vocal cords. There is nothing to be done about this, in short.

* Speaking of the above - Now that I have the second season in The 100 in Netflex, along with subtitles (English of course, but that really does not matter to me), I can actually, you know understand what people are saying? God, what a change it makes in viewing experience. Until now? The combo of ADD and the decreased hearing made me understand only about 70% at best. In each sentence without exception, there was at least one word I could either not hear or processes and translate in time. (both, I think.) So I always had to either guess or just not understand a good part of what was going on. (unless I sat with transcripts in my hands, which is what I took to doing with The 100. Than I would read along with the episode, and try my damnest to keep up. )

* Went to Mausner today, because they had a "buy two, get one" sale. And I wanted very much new and elegant pants for the birthday brunch next week. Was rather horrified to discover that each pants is 500 NIS and climbing (my budget was 400...). However, there was one pants, in a lovely off-white colour, that I could just not leave behind. So, it will come home with me next week, and I will have much fun wearing it to the party:)
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I think I will start from today.

So, Family Event is over, it was not half as bad as could be. My mother grumbled a whole lot about the "horrible, neglected state of my apartment". (the woman had checked the (electric) switches ! And grumbled they are dirty. I've informed her, that I have far too many other things on my priority list, thanks.

[personal profile] antongarou, poor thing, was stuck at work and so arrived by taxi later. But I was so very glad he came, since his presence made the occasion much less irritating.

Oh, and travelling by car with my mom and dad can be both amusing and infuriating - he refuses to admit he has hearing problems. So he didn't here the instructions from Wazes to turn right. (Dude, it tried telling you no less than three times, and my mom also - she has you on that one.) She, upon his mistakes, shames and guilted him (her personal field of expertise. She shows remarkable talent on that one, at least...)
We ended up driving through Hulon in order to reach Jaffo...with the two of them bickering and yelling the whole way. Fun trip.

Anyway,I enjoyed the wedding mostly due to the lovely view of the sea, right in front of us. And I could go hang around with [personal profile] antongarou instead of being stuck with my family.

Around five we folded by taxi back to Checkpoint, since he had to work, and it was also a good excuse for me to fold earlier than the rest of them.

I'm absolutely certain the the fact I've held the day so well - after being crippled by pain only yesterday - is due to the increase in the Concerta. My doc argued with me when I pointed out my assumption it will work out like that. Am so gonna tell him "told you so".

(It's not that the med treats the pain - it does not. Or that the pain is any less. I've dissociated the pain almost completely from my conscious. (it was only felt in glimpse, when some movement brought out all the pain to the surface sharply. But usually dissociation to such a degree is draining me out of all spoons. To the level that I can't lift my arms to take a cup of tea. This time - I could function. )

Today, when [personal profile] antongarou will come home, we instead to watch the first episode of Killjoys:) Am so happy, I've being waiting for that for a long time. I hoped to finish the 100 first. But could not tolerate the last two episodes due to the situation. I'm far more PTSD'ed about this than I was aware of.

Yet another think I've dissociated from my self till now. Does the fact that right now the hurt is felt keenly count as an improvement?
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Due to a speculate series of mishaps, I've ended up with Allergy and extreme fatigue ( "Can't-lift-arms-"states). Also, I brought spoiled food to work, and used the wrong filter in an earlier post.

I have a strong assumption that today's series of mishaps is linked to my being emotionally shattered yesterday. I was intensely triggered by the events yesterday, as well as the horrible incidents on Monday with the 13 years old boy. (that one made me unable to watch the last two episodes The 100. I can't, I just can't deal right now with watching teens fighting a brutal war. I can't. I'm sorry.It's just too near to our current reality. I can't separate reality from fiction in this state. I see Liz and)

So, anyhow I've folded up for home early to rest. Was not able to sleep, but a nice cuddle with Sam between my feet (her favourite position) and G cuddled nearby was also nice. (I've also had a short cuddle with my head on his body. This is something I love to do,since he is always purring mightily, and I can feel it through his whole body. This is so much fun.

And here we have stabbing attacked again *sigh*. And I was hoping for a quite day. At least this time only one person was slightly injured.

Still can't move much - tried to do light house work and was forced to sit down after 10 minutes.

I will now try to get up and do a bit more work.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
*deep, deep sigh* we have finished packing. At last. Who knew packing for a single damn week will be such a hard work?

* even deeper sigh* tomorrow morning I'm up at 7:20 so that I can catch a taxi at 7:45 and take a train to Haifa. In order to go shopping with Sis, both nieces, and dear dear mom. For a family even. Do you sense my utter joy and happiness at the occasion? Thought you would.

* Party last week. Sort of half and half. Too many people didn't show up - SH wrote the wrong day in her diary. MA is a kite and she had thought that 01.10 is next week instead of last week....DA had dog issues, DA1 didn't feel good. DI&EL never committed, and at the last they indeed didn't have the energy after icon.

* So, I was both dead tired and off over the low turn-up. However,the people that did come seemed to be having fun, and the food (which would have been sufficient for three times our numbers) was very good.

* I mean to finish the 100 during the vacation - we are taking the laptop and there is WI-FI in the lobby of the place. (It's not a hotel, but a collection of little houses. Looks very nice. Called צימר in Hebrew, and I'm not sure how to translate that.

* Please, please, please, let me not get my period during the vacation? Pretty please? (I was due to get my period on 01.10. Recalled it about 10 days ago, and started to take pills, and the hopes of postponing the damn thing.

* Managed to orgonize my meds - alllll the meds - very well. But am not taking vitamins. That would take a whole extra med bag.
ernads: a lovly rainbow in the winter (winter rainbow)
Well, I'm better now. Sat and worked through my fears and I have a much better idea how to handle things tomorrow. I think things will be OK, after all.

Food-wise, my appetite today was better - since I was an Idiot and forgot to renew my Depalt med, and as a result, skipped a day. However, I'm still on less than 1000 K, and than means getting in somehow at least 300K. If nothing else, Vitminchik should close that hole, but I would rather not rely on that.

Things at work remand hectic - and it's growing worse - however, I've informed my boss that due to prior commitments, I'm going home around 14. That will give me the time needed to rest and organize stuff on a relaxed basis.

And I've sold the 100 to HA today:) We saw the first episode together, and that was nice.

Yom Kipur

Sep. 23rd, 2015 08:09 pm
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I always enjoyed he special quite of this day, how one can hear the birds in the trees and the wing rustling.

Overall, the day went fine. I didn't fast - my health will not improve by fasting. But [personal profile] antongarou, who did, had an easy fast, with no headaches or other such problems. He is now breaking his fast and doing fine.

[personal profile] lovechilde also jumped by to visit, and we chatted for a while, before watching Leverage together. After that, I walked with her part of the way home. At the time, the roads were utterly empty. (it was 14:00 and rather hot. Even the kids were home).

As for myself, I didn't eat a whole lot at all, but until 19:00 didn't even feel it. I should start using Cron again, I'm afraid, much though I detest it.

Yesterday I've watched two episodes of The 100 back to back - episodes 9+10. I hope to see Raven forgive Clarke before the end. Their relationship was among my favourite. Although my main ship is Clarke/Lexa.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Had a bad day, ending a bad week. Am thinking to go back to 60 G.

I had to to to work today as well, since we are all screwed up, to say it mildly; First, it's sort of a mess when you are an Israeli working in an International company. Since while we were in a long holiday, the rest of the world, of course, is not.

Second, one of our team is off abroad for the next fucking two weeks.

So, we are all drowing in work, and accomplishing about 1/4 of what we need to do. The next Team Meeting will be horrible.

Also, food issues continue, and I think I'm gaining even more weight, which is worrisome to me. And I'm in a rather horrible amounts of pain - 7 on the pain scale.

Plan for the evening - watch some TV - am thinking also about The 100. (I met Lexa, which was a joy. And I can't wait to see more of her).
ernads: Fenic (Default)
So far, the damn dust cloud is here to stay. Am so unhappy about this - it's making me literally ill, as well as many others. My nephew is asthmatic, my young niece is not even a year old so she is also very vulnerable. One other person I dearly love has lung issues as well, and my husband,who is quite healthy, is suffering.

For myself - I have huge eating problems - feel sick after every meal, no matter how small. And my lungs are Very Unhappy since I'm somewhat asthmatic myself. *sigh*

Here, have a pic or two of how Israel looks the last two days;

Satellite view

Before and After

Somewhare in J-M I think

Anyhow, i't's here until Saturday at least, since there is no wind to take it away, nor any rain at this time of the year.

However, the forecast is uncertain - we have never had a thing like this before

Told my sis yesterday - "whoa, it does feel like an actual war weapon".

Regarding the 100 - Since I didn't sleep yesterday any worse than the norm (I never sleep well, but I have no difficulty in calming myself after the episode and going to bed), I presume I'm safe to go on, as long as I'm careful.
ernads: the 100 (the 100)
* Weather was even worse than yesterday; Much hotter, more humid, and more dust. I was utterly miserable, had to taxi home at 15:30 PM, and I have huge problems eating I mean, cereal makes me feel bad.That never happened. (I feel bloated and heavy and I have some nausea. Seriously not fun. Not to mention that each meal is draining me like physical activity.)

*And god, I'm feeling like, 10 K fatter than a week ago.

* The good part - was able to keep my mind and pull home before the Red Line.

* Watched 2x02 - Inclement Weather today. Mixed reactions:

The Octavia arc I love. She is incredible,and god, such a strong an passionate woman, and did I mention she is beautiful? I adore her.

Abby also continues to be one of my favourite characters. Marcius, on the other hand, is not. And Danta gives me the creeps - as he is meant to do, I'm certain.

I could not handle Raven's scenes here. Did they have to make it so graphic? Of course I FFW, but I got enough.

And the end was something of a motherfucker for me. I knew about the cages,about what the Mountain men are doing. Spoiled myself. But I didn't spoiled myself enough to realize that Anya will be one of those people trapped, and that hit me hard.

However, I'm not going on until next week, because as I see it the only way to watch this series in safety is to limit exposure. I will take my time and limit it to two episodes per week. Killjoys will keep.
ernads: the 100 (the 100)
So, I'm watching episode "we are the grounders" part two. Very well. Raven is with Clarke, working on their plane with the missiles. Raven is going on about her being first in everything - till now:

"I used to be picked first for everything; Earth skills,zero-g mech course.First every time.

So, how the hell did I end up here?

Clarke replies: "Raven? I'd pick you first".

Raven, without missing a bit:

"Of course you would. I'm awesome."

Oh, yes you are, honey.

Now, may I please fantasize about my favourite OT3? (it's Finn/Clarke/Raven, of course).
ernads: myself in KY (a waman on the beach)
Today was nice :)

I woke up feeling better,and quite recovered from the recent depressive loop. Also, walking outside and not melting within the first 5 minutes is definitely an improvement over the last few days. I didn't apprichate the return of the August- like weather we've had.

I'm also physically better - the period is not over, but I'm over the worst of it at least.

Anyhow -Oren was here for dinner. After dinner we played our favourite game,Dominion, and than sat and chatted for a while more. (I've had to kick him home, since those two can chat like, all night, and all three of us are tired - and he has to drive home.)

I'm too tired to watch the 100 today, however. (one of my safety rules - Do Not watch this series while tired. Not even on weekend days. It will have to keep for tomorrow.)

And I might have to limit myself to a single episode at a time if this is indeed going to become that much more triggery. (read all the wiki, so I know the hard facts, but watching will be different.)

Oren told us about a series he is watching now - "Defiance". That might be next on the Watch List after the 100. "Killjoys" is also optional - still waiting for more info on that one. Also - White Colour. (watched first episode - it's nice, although not overwhelming).
ernads: the 100 (the 100)
I've watched today Unity Day, I Am Become Death, and now The calm.

in all those three episodes, the character I admire most is Raven.

That kid is a primary mechanic and explosives expert. She manoeuvred her way down to earth to join her boyfriend, Finn. (Who had betrayed her by than, the idiot.

She is a extremely intelligent, she is brave,she is willing to let her boyfriend go because "she wants him happy", even if its' without her. She builds a radio that allows to make contact with the Ark. She also creates walkie-talkies, bullets, and bombs for the 100.

She is also a die-for dark haired gorgeous girl, of the kind I enjoy most to look at - but that's incidental.

I hope she will be a major character in the second season.(am fast approaching it, by the way.

as soon as I'm done, i will get into the Fanfiction world. (at which time I will welcome recs).
ernads: Fenic (Default)
“We are not alone any more. That’s a good thing”.

“Yeah. Not for Wells, or Charlotte, or Atom”.

“Nobody thought any of us will survive, but we did. You should take a minute to appreciate that”.

*Clark after a minute’s pause*; “well, minutes over”.

I love that girl.

day post

Sep. 2nd, 2015 03:43 pm
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Joy and happiness: Both [personal profile] antongarou and I are home sick right now.

In his case, it's some kind of a cold virus; Headache, red throat, weakness. In my part - I thought it was just a horrible period when I started feeling bad today. But nothing made the nausea go away. (I tried saline, plain water, peppermint tea, water with lemons slices inside. No good. )

Also problems with stomach. Beside the pain. And some pain in the throat as well.

So, I looked sadly at my mountain of work, and,par my red lines, packed myself home. (am being extremely careful with those red lines, since I've became aware that the reason I broke them so often was actually self-harm, and harmful to other people as well)nk

And I am thinking to stay home and not go to J-M tomorrow as planned. It's just too scary to think myself stuck there with nowhere to go to if I feel really bad. And even if it's not a virus, the period is wreaking havoc on me. (for some reason it's worse under Concerta).

in better news - the 100 continues to be fascinating and a good watch, and I'm so glad I decided that I'm well enough now to judge for myself. Also,it's entirely possible that my ability to handle triggers had increase, thanks to the Concerta regulating some things in my brain.

*Oh god dear stomach, kindly stop, it's so very painful*.

I think I will take a hot pillow now and huddle in bed


ernads: Fenic (Default)

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