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I've discovered thanks to my younger son a fun application, called Canva.Com

It's for people who are new to graphics and so on, and I'm having loads of fun with it. Yesterday I sat and made about 20 new icons with it's help.

Anyhow, despite local and international Mess, I've been having a few very good days. I'm that much more lucid, despite not being to sleep much better and no decrease in pain level. My emotional control is better, I'm able to handle several emergencies at a time (the whole weekend went on that).

And, not only my cognitive abilities are higher, I'm becoming somewhat more able to walk a bit and do some household duties. Which is critical at this point, as my SO is Not In A Good State. I've being worrying over that one for several months now, but it's worse now. I've been asking him to check out his extreme fatigue for weeks now.

So yesterday I used my own appointment with our Family doctor to talk with her about him, and she had him on the line in just a minute, talked with him and directed him to urgently check sleep issues. She is almost certain he has respiratory arrest. So now, at least he has an appointment in about a month from now. I really hope that that is the problem as it's at least treatable.

Other than that and some other family issue, I must admit I've been happy. I do hurt and feel much regret and pain, but - I'm able to let go most of the time. For most of the last month, I've been happy.
ernads: Star (star)
Sometimes I read a book and a paragraph, or a sentence, suddenly take new meaning and hits me in the face. Like an explosion of light.

I read it, and it feels like all of a sudden a key is turned in my mind, and a missing pice of a puzzle is found.

A sense of rightness. .

I don't have the correct word, but I think that some people will understand what I mean.

(The sentence that had exploded this time was from Ender's Game: Bean, mourning Ender after he was taken away: and than dealing with that: "Once he named the feeling, he could control it. He lay back and forced himself to go through the relaxing routine until he didn't feel like crying anymore".

I read it and thought: There, that's why it's so important to me to always list down and write about my thoughts and feeling and triggers. That's the name for my technique, that's how it works.

And, god...What a feeling.

Also, first time I had a chance to use this lovely icon.

Icon raid

Dec. 23rd, 2011 11:14 pm
ernads: (KISS ME)
Went on an icon raid, and found 2 icons which will probably cause you a sugar overload... but it made me smile. And D who is sitting next to me cooed all over them.

The guys came over at 21:00 or so. I did not manage to rest, and they are currently playing a game I find uninteresting, so I am sitting here posting instead. I fear DW is becoming addictive. And icon raiding is fun. Life seem a bit less bleak than they did an hour ago.

Also, I think that writing about stuff that trouble me is helping. It forces me to face things instead of flinching away from them.

Read more... )

Yea, I think I am a bit better than and hour ago.

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ernads

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