ernads: Fenic (Default)
Due to a speculate series of mishaps, I've ended up with Allergy and extreme fatigue ( "Can't-lift-arms-"states). Also, I brought spoiled food to work, and used the wrong filter in an earlier post.

I have a strong assumption that today's series of mishaps is linked to my being emotionally shattered yesterday. I was intensely triggered by the events yesterday, as well as the horrible incidents on Monday with the 13 years old boy. (that one made me unable to watch the last two episodes The 100. I can't, I just can't deal right now with watching teens fighting a brutal war. I can't. I'm sorry.It's just too near to our current reality. I can't separate reality from fiction in this state. I see Liz and)

So, anyhow I've folded up for home early to rest. Was not able to sleep, but a nice cuddle with Sam between my feet (her favourite position) and G cuddled nearby was also nice. (I've also had a short cuddle with my head on his body. This is something I love to do,since he is always purring mightily, and I can feel it through his whole body. This is so much fun.

And here we have stabbing attacked again *sigh*. And I was hoping for a quite day. At least this time only one person was slightly injured.

Still can't move much - tried to do light house work and was forced to sit down after 10 minutes.

I will now try to get up and do a bit more work.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
It’s like a dark cloud dimming everything. This pall, this feeling of a weight which comes from nowhere, goes nowhere and can’t be pushed off.Choking your breath.

Last year for example. I recall the first time I’ve heard about the 3 missing boys. A sense of darkness. A dark cloud, everywhere.

I’m having even more trouble sleeping lately - and it’s not that I sleep enough as it is. My back is hurting so bad,as well as my wrist, that I feel intense nausea. I could not eat today. It was hard to move myself, even though I’ve been avoiding reading, hearing or watching the news as assiduously as possible. I still hear things from random people at random times.

And today, all day, my head was flooded with flashbacks from the homicide bombing in bus 37. The attack that took the life of 18 children. Including a girl I dearly loved, Liz.

We are a nation with PTSD and endemic depression. It carves its marks deep into us. We don’t give up, we fight, sometimes even lash out, and then we cry alone in the dark recesses or listen to the old songs of war and blood and pain and pretend to smile at the memories.

This isn’t a cry for help, just a sharing. We are what we are, and we win with what we have, as always.

Black day.

Oct. 13th, 2015 10:51 am
ernads: Lie low, a hungry dragon's hunting (dragon)
So far, we have:

Two terror attacks in Rannana.

Two terror attacks in J-M

Two persons died of their injuries.

I've lost count, I'm afraid, of the number of sever injuries.

And it's not even 11.

I say that the third Intifada is in high gear.
ernads: ENOUGH (enough)
You know,in this day full of horror, I think that the above sentence summarizes the situation most accurately.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Am I the only one who sees I told them I'm a cop - but they could not see beyond my black skin headline and thinks Baltimore?

No, it's far, far away on the level of violence, I know. But the discrimination of black Israelis is here, as well.

I'm hurting today (those last several days will be more accurate) on several levels. I know my cognitive skills suck those days. It's often that I shut up, refrain from talking with Hagar, Tami, other people those days, since I don't want to risk offending and am too vulnerable to handle a counter-back if I do offend by mistake. But. That one stung and had to be said.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Now this story really broke my heart and made me tear up.

Dogs and friendship

Hope so much someone will continue to care for those woderful dogs.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
* Quite tired. yesterday it took me ages to fall asleep. I just could not get my body to relax - the amount of stress in it were spectacularly high. Eventually, I got up, did another round of Phyiso (with the kitties nipping at my feet throughout...and went back to bed. That, along with one more pill, did the trick.

* For some reason I just can't understand I have a real issues breathing deep while lying down, trying to fall asleep. I do not know if ti's falls under physical or psychosomatic issues. But, it's annoying as hell. I try to breath, and find myself short-of breath and frustrated, and it can take sometimes up to half an hour till I can get one deep breath in. What a relief that is. But - it's only t he single one.

* Despite the bad night, I had worse days regarding the fatigue issues. So far at least.

* Two more days till the elections. I'm excited, hopeful and pessimistic at once. Weird combo. I pray that we will be rid of Bibi, at last, but - yeah.

* Teeth are still an issue, despite the new wash and new dental thingy. it turned out that even with it I can use it on only a rather small part of my teeth; in addition to a very small mouth, I have little to no space between the teeth, so that even a tiny floss is almost impossible to pull through. *sigh*

* But a part is better than nothing, no?

* Also - as always - three days of antibiotics were enough for me to get an infection in a certain part of the body. (Am not elaborating, that's very much TMI, )

* Weather - still cool and nice. Will be so also on Election Day. I hope it will help bring in many voters.
ernads: Lie low, a hungry dragon's hunting (dragon)
Around 7 am 2 Palestinian men walked into a synagogue in Har Homa, well armed, and started shooting. The result of this butchery - 4 dead, 7-8 wounded, of those 4 critical - including a police officer who have heard the police radio network go crazy, and rushed to help.

Look, I don't like settlers. I don't have sympathy for them. Unless it's little children who are the target - or a synagogue. That's a cross into a red, red line, that raised the ghosts of past pogroms in my eyes, and my mind is filled with red fever haze.

next in this line of delightful morning reasoning - how many innocent Arab boys will end up dead and tortured as part of a pointless revenge? and from then...


Jul. 30th, 2014 12:59 pm
ernads: angry fennec (angry fennec)
This has been hovering for a long time now.

And you know what is the worst part? that I feel like I need to apologize! apologize for caring! apologize for not writing hate filled comments at all those articles that bring the Palestine side. That I don't do ahead and cheer "yeah, so 10 are dead, want more!"

Well, I do not. I am an Israeli, a Patriot, and a proud one. I adore my country, while being well aware of its numerous short comes. I acknowledge freely that both sides here have its Crazies, and that ours are in no way any more or less crazy than the other side. I agree that My People come first, I agree that if rockets and bombes are lunched from among civilian population, there is no choice but to fire back, in order or protect our civilian population. But. That does not mean I can't hurt when I read about dead and wounded children, see broken bodies of kids, think and imagine the mental wounds. There is no contradiction between complete loyalty to my country and empathy for the human suffering of the other side. And if that makes me a be it.
ernads: (fatuige)
I can't really avoid those kind of articles, no matter how heartbreaking they are, because the intense human suffering in the Palestine side is enormous and undeniable . They are the victims of the Hamas, as much as us, and most of them are utterly helpless to do anything about it.

Ynet is somewhat more leaning toward the Right than Haareth, but they do not ignore, in this conflict, the humanitarian crises in the Palestine side.And this morning I found an article about a remarkable girl:,7340,L-4552179,00.html

She is only 16, she is living right near the Shifa hospital, and she is seeing it all live. And she is sharing her experience with the world. And despite what I know and understand about the conflict, my heart breaks too, at the sheer human suffering.

(The one thing I can’t stand, can’t shut up to, is when I hear some idiot Israeli yelling at me ; “so, you pity the Palestine children? Why? The more dead, the better. What are you, a traitor?” (yes, it’s a quote, yes, from a few days ago, yes, it could have ended with bodily injuries, if the bus did not come on time. I am fucking series. And I learned my lesson from it, too. Next time, I will draw away before that kind of a person will complete his sentence.

news today

Jun. 15th, 2014 05:12 pm
ernads: angry fennec (angry fennec)
* Most of the activity is concentrating in the Hebron area. which may mean that according to the current intelligence the boys were not smuggled out to Gaza.

* Palestinians reported today that two Hamas seniors are gone missing since Thursday - the day the boys were kidnapped. Coincidence? I think not.

*Bibi declared openly today what everyone knew already since news broke - Hamas is behind the kidnapping.

* Hamas are keeping mum, though, and now I think I understand why - they do not want to "squish" the unity government. If it will come to negotiations about the boys, they want it to be a Palestinian issue, not a Hamas issue.

* And, much to my annoyance, kids are still hitchhiking, behind the Green Line. I mean, it's not even 72 hours since three boys were kidnapped doing just that. What's up, guys?
ernads: angry fennec (angry fennec)
I'm sorry.I can't hold this in.

When a man, after 8 years of unconscious , is suddenly deteriorating...suffering from renal failure...unable to breath...

Why don't just they let him go? He has no chance of surviving, he did not really live for 8 years. Just let this poor man go! Let him die in peace.

(I am speaking of Ex-Prime minsture, Arial Sharon. my heart goes out to him. I would have wanted to die in his state.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I could not find the orignal link, but this specific vid is so adorable that I can't resist linking it. (To those who want to see just the part about the pup, scorl to 1:39 minutes, and it starts there.

(It's a vid about a little canacian boy trying to teach his pup how to whistle. It's the most adorable thing I saw in ages. just...

Pup and Boy whistleing togather
ernads: Lie low, a hungry dragon's hunting (dragon)
13:03 Oh, yeah, any one who had illusions may now shread them- the damn Third Intifada is here.

(A worker was shot just now near the Gaza border. He has sever wounds. Joy. )


So we have a fatality now - it's a 22 years old young man.

Hamas, in antishpation of what might come, have evecuated their headquartes in Gaza.
ernads: symbol  of hope (rainbow)
So, now that the great storm is over, Ynet published a bunch of favorite pictures. Here are a few:

A Dove in the snow

This one is just cool:

Happy reading

Hello Kitty

A man and his dog:

A man and his dog

The happy lovers

ernads: (rain)
And the Ayalons are about the be closed - which means, A major major highway will be closed. . God, am I glad we stayed put, and did not go to PT, else we we might have been stranded along, and the way home would have been sheer hell. And me, I have a night shift tonight.
ernads: (rain)
So: he is what J-m looks like right now:

besieged J-M

Last night the roads to our capital city were blocked, and hundreds of people were stuck outside, in the cold, for many hours, without any ability to reach home. Oh, god. My heart out to them, I am cold inside the doors, and they are stick outside all night.

No, this storm is really the worst I recall. I mean, the country is an emergency mode, the army is moving up to J-M to help rescue people, emergency shelters are being opened, with Israelis volunteering to help and assist - and one good thing about Israelis - they are the worlds best volunteers. They are amazing in those situations.

You know what this reminds me? Of the Great Fire three years ago, when 40 people where burned alive in the bus, and many others were at risk and evacuated. And than, also, every one who could - helped.

It's raining buckets here, and I braved the rains to go to the doc to get my reference. And also, got a vaccine against flu - my immune system sucks,so I am at a high risk.

We are waiting for the DG to come and take us to PT and I am not happy with it - if he is not already out on the road we will postpone it - this is not the climate to go out. I am not going out to the Gym either, not in this rain. And I fear that Shear and Yehoda will not be able to come cause the roads are not in the best state right now.

Yeah, we caught him on time and postpone to Sunday. I am not willing to go out in the out in the weather. And I think that lunch is soup today.

God, Chanel two is broadcasting live - just like any emergency situation.

(you know what I discovered right now? When I type real slow, and say the words out loud in my mind, I can type with much less spelling mistakes. It will not eliminate the problem, cause I still do not hear right many words, but - it will help. Nice).
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I am becoming increasingly worried about the U.S Shutdown crises. And my desire to lynch those idiot Tea Party memories and knock some sense into them is growing by the day. I can’t avoid the feeling that they are perfectly willing to let the U.S economy go down the drains only to screw Obama.

According the latest C.N.N news update, there is no deal in sight. (No deal in sight ).

Now normally, the political and economic crises of other countries would not have worried me this much. But I recall well how the Mortgages bubble burst in 2008, and how it dragged the whole world down – the Israeli economy sustained no little damage in that time. We did better than most countries, since the economy was stable prior to the crises, but still, hundreds of employees were fired – myself included.

So, despite the fact that Checkpoint is considered one of the most stable company in the world, and despite the fact that Checkpoint never performed a major Layoff – even in 2008 – I can’t help be scared that this time will be deferent. Unless those idiots will just make a settlement and reopen the government and avoid the cliff.

Again, can I just kill them, please? And I thought out politicians were selfish idiots.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
The Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, one of the giants of the Jewish world and a major political figure, died today after battling for his life for three weeks or so.

Now, I can’t say that Ovadia was one of my favorite political leaders: I remember all to well his words regarding “ those soldiers dies because they did not keep the Law”. It’s not a direct quote, but it was in this spirit.

But still, there is enormous grieving among hundreds and thousandth of people, and I must admit that I felt a lot less loathing for Elli Ishay when I heard him weeping and grieving today. His sorrow is genuine.

Right now, the whole country is one giant traffic jam, cause everyone is trying to reach the funeral in time, and we are talking about approximately 5000000 people who are expected to come. Also, closed roads, and so on.

Am I glad not to be on the roads roday. All of Ramt Gan, and beni brak are blocked, with hundreds of people fighting for a place in the busses to J-M. It’s one huge mess.

Here is an article in English:

The Rabbi Ovadia Yosef
ernads: Lie low, a hungry dragon's hunting (dragon)
Oh, this is too much:

Homophobia in Russia reaches new levels, in my opinion

I can't find an English version of this one, and my abilities in translation suck, as I know well, but the sum of this article is as follows:

A new law is presented in the Russian Parliament: a law prohibiting members of the gay community to contribute blood, and "help them return to normal life".

Since, of course, as any person of medium intelligence knows, it is the Gays who contribute most to the spreading of Aids. Of course. So, this new law will Law will help eliminate the spread of AIDS.

No matter that every expert is asserting that the likelihood of getting AIDs from gays is far lower than the like look of getting aids through drug use and infected needles. No, it's "all the gays fault"

What a wonder that Putin did not blame the Gay community in global warming. Or is that claim to come in the future, as well, and justifies more harassment ?

Yeah, I like Putin. A lot. Want to stick him in a pit with my mother - a great homophobe herself. They should get on fine together.


ernads: Fenic (Default)

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