Jan. 31st, 2016

ernads: Fenic (Default)
So, I managed to pull myself out of the depressive loop after about two hours. [personal profile] antongarou helped here by helping me see that despite the fact that despite the fact that my social anxiety often cripples me, there are some good things in me, as well. So, yes, I do not have the kind of swift-edged shinny intelligence and sharp wit that allows one to shine in a party, move the conversation along, provide answers easily. I’m shy. I’m awkward. I find it hard to open my mouth and participate in a conversation, even if it’s with people I know well and trust. I often feel pushed aside, rejected, unneeded. A burden that has nothing to give anyone.

But.I have self-insight into- and the courage to face those issues. And I work very hard on changing and breaking bad patterns and developing better ones, and maintain the borders and parameters. And I’m willing to face some demons. (by participating in the PTSD workout). And my self-awareness is extremely high. And I’m also a very loyal and caring person, for all that it’s worth.
So, maybe not a total waste of space and oxygen. But…

Anyhow. After I recovered I was able to work rather well, and around six decided that since my pants are all too big on me now, it’s time to go shopping. Decided to go to Golf since we still have a good card with some money in it, so why not?

[personal profile] antongarou came with me. The guy is awesome in this, by the way –he has a deep understanding of what works on who and why. Really. He could have made loads in styling and helping people choose cloths and all that. Anyhow, the result was 4 pants, 2 casual, 2 more stylish, (and one of them is size 40 that’s a first in over two years.

Than we went to near-by Honigman and he picked my sis two fabulous shirts in less than 5 minutes. The girls that tired to help him were rathe r stunned. They are not used to guys like this.
So, now I have 4 well fitting pants, and I’m glad for it. Something new to wear for the birthday party this Saturday. (My sis and niece – baby girl is one year old.)

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ernads

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