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Was not here for ages
Aug. 17th, 2022 10:03 pmI did not write here for a long time. Life had become very busy. But i feel a need to return, as writing is one of my main tools to handle fear and well, terror.
The last few weeks were too good, and now i fear i am coming apart again. I feel a rise in anxiety, fatigue and pain. I feel an increase in dissociation and a decrease in my awarenece and handling abilty to handle this, and i am terrefied. It's like feeling myself falling down in slow motion, seeing the horrible days of the winter hunting me down again, and i fear i will loose the battle against my worst enomy:myself.
My resourses are limited, my workload increasing, i am about to start a new course in three month. If i will not stablise my self untill than, a complete breakdown is certain.
The last few weeks were too good, and now i fear i am coming apart again. I feel a rise in anxiety, fatigue and pain. I feel an increase in dissociation and a decrease in my awarenece and handling abilty to handle this, and i am terrefied. It's like feeling myself falling down in slow motion, seeing the horrible days of the winter hunting me down again, and i fear i will loose the battle against my worst enomy:myself.
My resourses are limited, my workload increasing, i am about to start a new course in three month. If i will not stablise my self untill than, a complete breakdown is certain.
