(no subject)

God, Ofra Haza did have the most incredible voice. (I'm listening on YouTube to my playlist).

Today I experimented in getting up one hour earlier and going to work with antongarou. So far I can declare the experiment a colossal failure. I do not understand why it makes such a difference, but I'm a Zombie. I assume it has to do something with my weird sleep cycle. Possibly it was cut at a bad timing, hence my state. Whatever. I'm not trying this again. Today I'm here, already, so I will try to work as best as I can and go home early, perhaps.

Yesterday was lot's of fun. Lea and lovechilde came over for the weekly Leverage viewing, and we watched two episodes back to back. First Season is officially over for me! And I am in love with this series. Parker, Parker, Parker. Also Eliot and Harison, but Parker. Just love this girl.

So. Light food, not chocolate, may help. Will go make myself a sandwich.

day post

A most annoying day. I was forced to call a sick day at noon today and go home, because my Zombie state did not show any signs of improvement, and I was having trouble to concentrate and even walk properly. This means I will not be able to reach my target goal this week. Damn and be damned.

Patience,apparently, is not my best quality? No, really? You can't mean that.

And worry not, I do not blame the ADHD for that, or any of my other disorders/issues. I imagine I would have been an patient little brat even as a kid without other problems. Those just make it worse, is all.

So. Things to remember:

1: Even if I feel stuck and rooted in place now, and it's frustrating (and scary, lets admit it) as hell), I'm not helpless. I have some control.

2: The key is to start small and build from there. A big problem here is that I am caught in a loop of negative thoughts, and those color my thinking, right? So, for start, I need to have more realistic expectations. The situation now is much better than it was three weeks ago. But. That does not mean I'm well, or healed. It means I manage my issues better. What I should inspire to is not to recover - it will not happen - But to reach a balanced, stable, functioning state

When you think of that, that's just what Natty told me she had achieved. She has Fibro as well. She told me she is now balanced and functioning, and that's all that matters, because she had accepted the fact she will never be healthy, as this is a chronic illness.

All right, than for tomorrow, I will attempt to hold out a day from 10:30-17. If I do more hours and work, well and good. If not, that I will (attempt at least) to not eat myself over it.

Now, good things:

1: sleeping with my kitten snuggling against me under the blanket! (Sam crawled in and just tucked herself against me and went to sleep. That was so much fun).

2: I am feeling better now, so my decision to go home early was a wise course of action and not a waste of valuable work time. It probably saved the rest of the week.

3: Sh is our of surgery and in good condition. I was worried.

And here are a few pics, adorable things from my tumbler:

Sam and G. On a single Tree. Ceasefire.

Sam and G

And lookie, this little ferret hugging his mommy is so adorable.

Ferret Hugs

And last for dessert - little raccoon:)

Baby Racoon