(no subject)

Still in a freak out and a panic attack over the ugly face I saw in the mirror. Shaking, trembling, high pulse, weakness in my arms.

God, that was so very horrible and unpleasant. But necessary, I guess. Another step in recovery.

And who said that the road to recovery is easy? Quite the opposite.

Just breath through said and hold on.

Starting with Ixel tomorrow.

So who was incredibly gifted?

I return home with burning nerves and major fatigue. The lemon verbena combo is no longer effective. It took two days, damn it.

anyway, the mania was really bad, so I had the thought to try a hot bath with Lavender oil and see if this will help. Well and good. I open the hot water, and go to let out some steam by cleaning house. It's surprisingly helpful sometimes. Soothing.

So after ten minutes I go to the bathroom, close the water tap, plung in my hand for a second to check water and get it.

Only to get out after a minutes screaming. Looks like my checkup was not very effective, and now I'm fucking burned up by my own bath. Had you ever heard of a more idiotic way to get burned ?

It's bad in my legs, but more hurtful in my - well - tender area. That's fucking painful. But I got up in time so that the damage is not too bad.