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Some sort of episode - sheer rage, but still an episode of a sort
I am an a …searing rage again. It’s almost beyond my control. I have those sudden spikes of intense need to break something, over the silliest things. It does not take much to let it loose.
So far, no harm, no visible …crazy behavior on my part. I am taking breaks, and doing the muscle tone mediation, in my attempts to contain it. When it does not, I am actually going to the bathroom and there let myself go – snap the door shut with all my might, slam the toilet header down, that sort of stuff.
But it’s…horrible. It’s a tickle in my brain, a fierce inch I only partly control and I don’t know why or how or what happened.
Am living this open, on the same basis as before – it’s the one way I am comfortable communication my discomfort, and it’s an non-intrusive one. Had I started an IM chat with Hagar right now, or called Anat or Shear – that’s intrusive, and until I recover, I will avoid IM talks or phone calls. But DW is a non-intrusive mode of expressing yourself, and it’s passive communication on my part.
So far, no harm, no visible …crazy behavior on my part. I am taking breaks, and doing the muscle tone mediation, in my attempts to contain it. When it does not, I am actually going to the bathroom and there let myself go – snap the door shut with all my might, slam the toilet header down, that sort of stuff.
But it’s…horrible. It’s a tickle in my brain, a fierce inch I only partly control and I don’t know why or how or what happened.
Am living this open, on the same basis as before – it’s the one way I am comfortable communication my discomfort, and it’s an non-intrusive one. Had I started an IM chat with Hagar right now, or called Anat or Shear – that’s intrusive, and until I recover, I will avoid IM talks or phone calls. But DW is a non-intrusive mode of expressing yourself, and it’s passive communication on my part.