ernads: (an empty room)
ernads ([personal profile] ernads) wrote2011-12-28 11:23 am
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Well,I had better mornings. Or nights, for that matter. It will just have to be one of those days.

Slept under 5 hours, third night in a row. Might be one of the triggers of this current episode.. But it's mostly this feeling of-despair, I guess.

Despite being told yesterday that I have a chance of working this out - I don't really trust in my own abilities. I feel like I am walking in the same darken room I always had,since age 11.With no way out. Yes,some improvement was achieved in the last several month. But it feels like such a small improvement to me. I am still prone to fall into episodes.I still don't really understand why anyone should care. It's such a lonely feeling.

I am scared.

Why can't I believe-no. I will not go into this one.

I know I have to snap out of it - in 10 minutes I need to start working. But I just want to crawl home and cry this out.And I can't..

It will end,I know it will.I always snap out. Just have to wait this out.