I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It sounds like you're doing what you need to do. Staying mindful. Slowing down so you can deal with the world and other people logically and rationally and with maturity. I have found that analyzing my problems can sometimes be a problem in itself. Too much focusing on myself and spiraling. Sorry that the book did that to you, but maybe steer clear of those! I try to distract myself as much as possible with nice things (like ficcing or jigsaw puzzles or coloring) or with mundane things (there's always something to clean or tidy or laundry). It's difficult to silence the critical voice and the fearful voice but I think you can soften them at least. I am thinking of you and wishing you better days!