ernads: Fenic (Default)

She was 17. Young, gifted, extremely beautiful, full of life. With a lovely voice and a love for theatre and art and music. She also had an acute understanding of the people, and was extremely mature for a age.

She was 17. My best friend’s little sister. My adopted little sister, who I’ve known for 9 years, and seen on a weekly basis. Both of us worshipped her. She made the whole room light up whenever she came in.

She had many dreams and aspirations. In the army she planned to train infantry soldiers because she was charismatic and loved to teach and guide others. Liz considered a future as an interior decorator, an architect, an actress …

On a sunny day in March, 13 years ago, Lis boarded bus number 37 on her way home from a dress rehearsal for a show that was planned a week hence. She never made it home.

She was killed by Palestinian Muslim fanatic, along with 17 other victims. Most of them children. Her best friend Tal was killed as well - they were sitting together.

Liz will remain 17 forever. Her death had huge impact on my life. Aside from losing a beloved little sister, I’ve lost my best friend as well. ( Her sister Marina was broken by Liz death, and she had never recovered. She had left Israel and left for the States, cutting contact with all of us who knew and loved her. So, I’ve lost them both).

I’ve never forgotten, and I’ve never stopped grieving for her. I wonder sometimes how she would have looked like. How would our relationship shift with the years and time, and what new layers would have been added to it.

It hurts to think about it, about “what if” and “if only”. But in this case, I do not want it to stop hurting, because it’s part of remembeing her.

ernads: may I have one like this some day (RRC plans)
Am dead meat and [personal profile] antongarou is not much better - he's fast asleep already. (And thanks god we got home when we did, because if it would have taken 20 minutes longer than that, we would have probebly not make it back safetly. )

However - so much fun .

This is the end result: This is the plane we bought

So: We met at the shop, and from there drove toward a large field that’s used for flight lessons.

One minute after getting out of the car, I understood that we have rather horrible flying conditions: Hamsin and very active winds. Very active.

So- first attempt was a disaster. My teacher is not as good as AM, frankly – he does not have that calm, soothing attitude that AM does. But he is teaching many years, including children and guys as old as 50,so.

My main problem is that I don’t have a feel for the radio yet. And since I need to keep an eye on the plane, always, I can’t see or sense if I’m pulling Up to much, or to the left to much, and so on.

However, he did manage to calm me down after a while, and by the third attempt there was some slight improvement: I was able to keep high hyper focus,(to the extent of not hearing anyone around me). Also didn’t loose the plane, and was able to keep it going nice and straight for a few minutes.

By than, we were there almost 90 minutes, mind you, and I was not aware of the time at all.

Or of the little fact than the sun is beating down on me and turning me into a lobster, since by some surge of idiocy, I’ve forgotten to bring protective cream…(yes, am paying for it now).

In the end, we decided to take his rec for a simulator after all (he sales only the joystick, because the regular programs are so expensive that people don’t like to buy them)

He said we should be able to download a reasonably cheap program online (was not able to find a link yet, by my brain is almost dead right now. If we can’t find a good link: we hope to come for some plane tourism on Saturday,maybe, so maybe AM can rec us something. )

Anyhow, the simulator can help me learn to coordinate between eyes and hands. And if we find a good program it might very well save us good 6 or 7 lessons. That’s a whole lot of time and money. (no way I can learn to fly this thing alone. )

After the lesson we went back to the store to pay and to collect everything. And off to meet Shear for lunch.

(And before that, in an act of supreme lack of spoons, I’ve forgotten my damn bag at the shop. We had a little panic attack there).

By the time we headed back it was 17:30, and it took two hours to get home. But – made it home in one piece, which is a major fit on [personal profile] antongarou’s part considering the amount of energy that he had spent during the day. (he did need about 7 cups or espresso or so. But)

Me dead meat, but it was such a fun day, and I can’t wait for the next lesson, and to talk shop with the guys in KY and everything.

Yeah, I think I’m in love with this…

lost girl

Mar. 8th, 2016 11:38 pm
ernads: Fenic (Default)
All right. Unless this one fucks up as badly as Jason did with The 100, looks like I have a new Show.

Lost Girl: A Canadian (That's one plus- Canadian) supernatural drama television series. It follows the life of Bo: A Fae girl, who grew up in an adopted human family, unaware of her non-human nature and of the Fae world she descended from. She began to feel "different" when she entered puberty and didn't know she was not normal until she accidentally killed her high school boyfriend by draining his life energy during her first sexual encounter. Not knowing what she was and what she had done, Bo hated herself and ran away from home, exchanging her previous life for one without family or friends, moving from place to place and assuming a false identity whenever she killed again.

In the first episode, Bo saves a young human woman, Kenzi, from a rapist who had surreptitiously drugged her with a "roofie" in her drink. The two quickly become friends and Kenzi decides they should team up to create a Fae/Human detective agency. Confronted by the Fae leaders of the local territory with a demand for her to choose a side – either "Light" or "Dark" – Bo declares herself neutral, deciding instead to side with humans after Kenzi risks her life to find out where Bo had been taken by force and what they were doing to her.

So, this one looks totaly cool. It also has strong BBF and bisexual relationship - that does not end, mind you, with the bisexual girl dead by some stray bullet 5 minutes after a sexual encounter. (or dead at all, from what I see so far in Wiki. (yes, I spoiled myself. After the Jason fuckup, I'm not to get attached to a bisexual girl again without checking she will not die on me.

So, so far, it looks good. And there is a warewolf there, also. Nice.

Don't fuck up this one, Show
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Most will be under cut for safety reasons.

So, *taking a deep breath* here we go )

And now the conclave must begin.
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
If we want to sum this episode in three sentences:

Bellamy and Pike continue to make terrible decisions while Octavia (and Kane and Abby) Kick Ass. Oh, my beloved Octavia.

Jaha and the City of light plot is getting more complex. Titus is in it, and I trust him not, oh my

And Lexa is….beyond words. Each of her scenes is pure gold. She and Clarke shine together.

We start at Polis: The commander is napping, and the commander of death is sketching her. Aww. But this pretty picture doesn’t last long before Lexa wakes up from a nightmare. She says the former commanders are haunting her and she’s worried she’s destroying their legacy. “Your legacy will be peace,” Clarke says.

Than Clarke receives a little surprise from King Roan: The last of the Mountain Men, Emerson. In a box. (Poor Lexa. She probably recalled the day she had received Costia’s head in a box…)

Lexa asks Clarke to decide the fate of the last of the Mountain Men. Titus, who thinks Lexa’s judgment is clouded, wants death. Lexa says that’s the old way, and she wants Clarke to echo this statement, but instead Clarke says she wants Emerson dead. Lexa makes sure she knows what this means: Emerson can be banished or he can die by Clarke’s own hand. She has until sundown to decide.

Of we go to Arkadia. This arc is more difficult for me to watch and write about, so I will sum it as:
Pike continues to travel down the path of refusing to acknowledge the atrocities of Earth’s past by making the same mistakes.

Kane and Abby try to slow him down at least, and prevent another massacre. And Octavia risks her life, several times, in order to warn the Grounders about Pike’s deadly intentions.
Some of the Grounders evacuate. Some plan to fight back. And here comes Ballemy and his followers, right into the trap.

So now Bellamy will have to choose between his baby sister, who was his first priority for his entire life, and Pike’s policies. I do not think he will choose to switch sides now. This will be horrible.
During the above, Jaha and ALLI are trying to get everyone over into “the city of light”. Or drunk and enslaved to ALLI. Thanks god there is Abby, but I’m afraid for her, since it’s obvious that ALLI knows she is a threat to her plans. She will try to get rid of her.

Than we are back with Clarke and Lexa. Where finally Clarke takes her own advice and realizes that “blood must not have blood” has to be applied to everyone — not just people she likes. At Polis that evening, during a death ceremony, Titus hands her the knife to kill Emerson, but she says, “no,” that she doesn’t deserve the peace his death might bring. She looks at him and says, “I wouldn’t be killing you for what you’ve done — I’d be killing you for what I’ve done.” Emerson is not pleased.

Titus is also not pleased. He wants Lexa to kill Emerson. But she speaks to the crowd, over their murmurs, and says the crimes of the Mountain can’t be saved by killing one man. She goes on to give a speech that could very well be her legacy as a commander, saying that they are living in a new world in which violence isn’t answered by violence.

Lexa banishes him for life to live with the ghost of those he lost, which is a pretty brutal thing to say, even to Emerson. Clarke finishes it by saying, “May you live forever.” Damn.

See why I’m in love with Lexa?

Lexa, Lexa, please don't die....

day post

Feb. 24th, 2016 11:17 am
ernads: myself in KY (a waman on the beach)
* That coffee with the three instant spoons in it? Well, my brain is more awake, indeed. However, my allergy kicks ass now. (Took two Telfast at once. Perhaps I should scale this down a bit next time - two spoons and not three. My body obviously can't stand this much caffeine at once.)

*Yesterday though? was seriously fun. So much.

Tami and I wanted to go shopping- that is, I decided I need to gather up my courage and look for new dresses, as it has been two years and Dress Shopping is really hard for me. And Tami is a darling and also has excellent taste and we didn't see her in a month or so.

Hagar recced us Castro as they have good sales and some dresses that might even fit a woman who's size is 40, and not only 36-38. So, I said, why not? At the worst, we will find nothing and go look elsewhere.

And indeed, after several failed attempts, I found two cute dresses - one a red dress (I loved the intense red color) and the other a nice grey. Both a bit wintery and the red one might work as an evening dress.

And both of them together - 180 NIC only:)

And than [personal profile] antongarou arrived. Which was the cue, apparently, for the All The Silliness show that we manage to create between the two of us. We preformed masterfully, I must admit, and poor Tami was half laughing, half face-palmed over us.

[personal profile] antongarou needed some shirts and a new purse (badly. He never buys a new one until the damn thing is already torn to pieces.) We had found him two lovely shirts in Castro Man (one in a glorious blue color which works very well on him. As good as purple. ) and even a purse, although this one is smaller by far than his last one. Oh well. At least it's in one piece, yet.

Than, Tami introduced me to a new store - Goldbarry. Dear god, that place is as good as Mousner, and those of us who shop there knows what that means. Much cheaper, though. And the saleswoman are adorable, kind, and know their work.

I went out with a beautiful dark blue dress, that made [personal profile] antongarou smile his huge Shark Smile. And would have done the same to Hagar,I think. It's that good. However, as it was 300 NIC, I decided that that's it - this one is perfect and we have no budget for more.

Tami didn't agree with me, however. Before trying the blue dress I tried another one that was adorable. So, after we payed for the dress I chose, she told us "wait outside, I will just pay for mine now and meet you" (she found an absolutely lovely light pink dress that suited her to a T. Just perfect. And I loved the soft pink color on her:)

Anyhow, she meets us outside after a few minutes, and I discover that she had bought me the other dress...That's Tami, all right

after that we wanted to have dinner together, so off to Zepra we went. On the grounds that it's an old favorite. I had the brilliant idea of parking in CP (we do work there, so why not take advantage of a perfectly good parking place?)

We had a great time and great food. However, I woke up during the night with a horrible heartburn, that ended up in my coughing my guts out. Hence my need for the Wake Up Coffee, that ended up with an allergy. Oh well. The Telfast is keeping this contained, at least.)
ernads: Fenic (Default)
here is what I'm listening to now for comfort: Vivalidi
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Rather steady. I had my first Biofeedback season Wednesday - was extremely impressed. Those guys are far more professional than the therapist that treated me a few years ago. Most of my issues - IBS, Anxiety, PTSD, sleep issues, even vaginismus - are treatable by Biofeedback according to what they state. Everything but depression and Fibro. But at least they can help me deal better with the last.

When we started working, the therapist said that my base level is very good, but that until I will reach the state where I can do Biofeedback automatically, I will be depended on the feedback from the computer. So that’s my end-goal.

And today was nice – we went to Unamy to see L before she hits off for a year to China, for work. She was accompanied by baby sister Daria. We were very happy to see her. Daria is an adorable human-shaped kitten. Always fun.

And I managed easily to sell her the 100:)

However, she did something that just killed me – we needed some tip, OK? So what do you think the girl does? She shoves her hand down her breast and comes up with money….I nearly died laughing, than and there. That girl.

And tomorrow should be fun also - KY and planes! And good company and than makeup and probebly some time in that good cafe. I am so happy.
ernads: beauty (Bird of paradise)
I'm finding this book so interesting, and there is so much for me to learn from it, that I think I want to discuss it here..

I’m certain that my discussions will seem immature and somewhat childish, in a sense, since I’m not really a scholar. I’m possessed with high intelligence – somewhere between moderately Gifted to highly gifted. It’s tested and proven. (even my ADHD diagnose showed that. As well as several other people who’s opinion is highly important to me.)

However, I’m a amateur. And my integration abilities are not exactly brilliant, to say it mildly. (ADHD, too many years since my Uni days, and so on.)

But I really want to assimilate as much as possible from this book, and this is the only way I can think of that will be efficient.

So – I found something in the first chapter: "Willpower looks like much more than a metaphor. It seems to be like a muscles that could be fatigued through use. " (pp 23).

That makes much sense for me, it explained why on my bad days, when I'm using up most of my willpower just to get out o bed and into cloths, I've little ability to work.

Willpower is finite. There is no endless supply of it. It is an energy supply – an energy “budget”. And when one needs to divide budget between many needs, once might do poorly in all of them.

That what happens to me on bad Fibro days.
ernads: (fatuige)
most of the day was not that bad, however after work I went to by shoes – something that will be both prettier than my regular work shoes, and yet still as comfortable as possible. For shoes that do not hold my insoles. Those kind of shoes can be found only in one shop – Blue Heart. They have a large variety of orthopedic shoes. However, even there, shoes-shopping is an agonizing process for me.

I found a likable pair after a long, long search, (and with antongarou’s help, bless him for coming specially to help me). Than we went to buy books for the kids and a few other things. All in all, it took about two hours, and I was dizzy and too painful to walk at the end of it. Not much improvement since. Still can’t get up or walk without limping. Can’t work today, or even read much. ( right now I’m absorbed up too my ears in “Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength – Will Power. By Roy F. Baumesiter & John Tierney. It’s an absolutely fascinating, absorbing book. However, despite the fact the book is very readable, it’s not a light book. And since I want to absorve and understand everything I read, I chose to go lightly and slowly with it, and read only two or three chapters a day. And on days like today – not a one, alas.

I think that after I will finish this book I will want to delve deeper into this subject in other books. I think I will take a pip at Amazon later.

Now However I think I should not try to attempt any work. If I want to be safe for work tomorrow, best close laptop and hop into bed. Preferably with a cat or two.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
Not bad, all in all, although I'm not feeling to well - upset stomach and nausea. Even an hour after returning home. (the buses are really doing a number on me.)

I've thought today that a patch on the left eye will help me force the right eye to work while reading. The problem was only figuring out where to get the damn thing. We really had no idea at first, and my optometrist was out today or else the store was closed, because there was no answer there as well. So' I've ended up going to SuperPharm and asking them, and they did, actually, had just the thing. It's not comfortable, and it's pressing too hard on the glasses,but it works.

I’m conflicted about going to work with it, though, knowing very well that going with this thing will be both: physically uncomfortable and might result in pressure wounds around my eyes; might be awkward, very much, since it looks so ridicules. However, it will also assist very much with the eye sight problem, so. Don’t know yet.

However, a second day in a row in a rather crowded shopping mall took much spoons from me. (I'm not comfortable in closed, crowed places, to say the least. It's an overload on all my senses; eyes, touch, emotional empathy. Which is extremely strong in me).

So we plan to spent the evening lazing about and recouping, despite the fact that there is work to be had. The story for PurimGifts is done, at the worst if I will have no spoons for the other two bunnies running in my head right now, we will offer that one only as a treat/pinch hit (if I'll be called on of course)
ernads: Fenic (Default)
So we've had now two episodes from the third season. So far, I thought it's rather meh. There were some things that impressed me, but overall, the first two seasons of The 100 started each with quite a bit more of a bang.

We had lot's of Octavia, which is always a Win. Octavia is awesome. We had also our lovely Roan, kidnapping and dragging Clarke off by hair hair, almost. (He is hot and good looking and a great actor, and I loved him. Also, the piece of info on him in the end is intriguing. I'm looking foreword learning a lot more on him in the next few episodes. Hoping it will give us more insight into the grounders history and tradition and society, and what happened between Lexa and the Queen of the Ice nation, how did this enmity develop, and why can go on and on on that.

Also, I was impressed with the Clarke-Bellamy reunion in episode two, with Roan, and of course, with the tiny bit off Clarke-Lexa interaction we've had.

And a bit more on that:

I love the dynamic between Clarke and Bellamy: They anchor each other. There is so much trust and a sense of family in their relationship. It's beautiful to see. Although, I admit that if those two will ever become a romantic partner, I will be intensely disappointed. It will just turn this lovely relationship into one more fucking cliquish. And me, I can't stand cliquish. Don't do it, show, just,

Yeah, I know, all the Bllercalrke people are probably howling for my blood now. Tough luck guys.

The relatiohship I'm invested in is Lexa-Clarke;

The Clarke-Bellamy relationship is balancing Clarke’s relationship with Lexa: If Bellamy is a familiar source of warmth, comfort, security, family, than Lexa is explosive – firework, passion, dynamite. In their brief reunion toward the end of the episode, Clarke didn’t lower her eyes from Lexa, not for a second, and there was so much fire in them.

In the end, though, I think that Lexa, because of her position and because of the decisions she had to make, can understand Clarke better than anyone, better even than Bellamy. He acts from his heart, while Lexa acts from her head. It makes her seem cold - but she is not, not at all. She cares a great deal. Only, unlike Bellamy, she does not have the luxury of acting on it.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
So, I managed to pull myself out of the depressive loop after about two hours. [personal profile] antongarou helped here by helping me see that despite the fact that despite the fact that my social anxiety often cripples me, there are some good things in me, as well. So, yes, I do not have the kind of swift-edged shinny intelligence and sharp wit that allows one to shine in a party, move the conversation along, provide answers easily. I’m shy. I’m awkward. I find it hard to open my mouth and participate in a conversation, even if it’s with people I know well and trust. I often feel pushed aside, rejected, unneeded. A burden that has nothing to give anyone.

But.I have self-insight into- and the courage to face those issues. And I work very hard on changing and breaking bad patterns and developing better ones, and maintain the borders and parameters. And I’m willing to face some demons. (by participating in the PTSD workout). And my self-awareness is extremely high. And I’m also a very loyal and caring person, for all that it’s worth.
So, maybe not a total waste of space and oxygen. But…

Anyhow. After I recovered I was able to work rather well, and around six decided that since my pants are all too big on me now, it’s time to go shopping. Decided to go to Golf since we still have a good card with some money in it, so why not?

[personal profile] antongarou came with me. The guy is awesome in this, by the way –he has a deep understanding of what works on who and why. Really. He could have made loads in styling and helping people choose cloths and all that. Anyhow, the result was 4 pants, 2 casual, 2 more stylish, (and one of them is size 40 that’s a first in over two years.

Than we went to near-by Honigman and he picked my sis two fabulous shirts in less than 5 minutes. The girls that tired to help him were rathe r stunned. They are not used to guys like this.
So, now I have 4 well fitting pants, and I’m glad for it. Something new to wear for the birthday party this Saturday. (My sis and niece – baby girl is one year old.)

day post

Jan. 28th, 2016 08:12 pm
ernads: (fatuige)
* Icon a good indication of status.

* Bus drivers a a menace to public health: Aside from the fact that I'm nearly throwing up from nausea (sea sickness, made worse because of how jumpy is the ride in most buses), they love to stop suddenly and with violence – each time I’m almost thrown half way across the bus or else having my arm nearly twisted. Not fun.

*Sleep doctor today – adorable woman. Who, upon hearing all the issues and symptoms, diagnosed my sleep issues as the kind she can’t help. Because I can actually fall asleep most of the nights – the problems is that I have a very shallow sleep, with vivid, lucid nightmares, and that I wake up every two hours. And that I have hyper-sensitive issues to full bladder, dry skin, noises and so on. (she recced me to consult an urologist

* However. She did rec me something that might very well work on several issues (if not necessarily on the sleep issue ): There is a Workshop on Mindfulness in Shiva hospital. In this Workshop there are therapist who teach and provide tools that should assist dealing with stress better. Among other things, they aim to teach us to learn how to reduce Autopilot Mod: That is, to avoid as much as possible thee pattern of Automatic thought-reaction mode. That will do me loads of good. It’s 1000 NIS, 8 weeks. The big minus – I will need to leave work every week on 14 to get there on time.

*Rest of the day went slow. The Morphine patchs begin to cause me problems – constipation…so I had to take the extra 5 MG, and now I wil actually try to eat things not allowed n the Crohn diet in order to resolve this one.
ernads: (rain)
Quite tired.

I had an appointment in Asuta, at the pain clinic,at 8:20. Was not very happy with that, but I prepared my cloths yesterday, and placed the meds in my bag, and ordered a taxi for 7:50.

And this morning I wake up from a nightmare all dizzy and absent-minded. I grab wildly for my phone to check the time - and it's 8:10. Great.

Luckily enough, my taxi driver was late as well, and he was willing to wait for 5 minutes - told him to start the timer so that he will not loose money on me. Not his fault after all. I blessed my gods that everything was ready, got dressed in 5 minutes, washed my teeth, and out I go.

Without a fucking coat or umbrella for the upcoming rain. Or gloves, or scarf. or a breakfast. Even didn't have time to tie my shoes properly. The sight I made...

The driver was really adorable. And that was a good thing, as we had spent a good 50 minutes together...

However, they didn't even comment on it when I arrived on the clinic and apologized - told me that because of the mess people are late today anyhow. No biggy.

The good pain doc told me to double the morphine amount, and we will see what happens from there. f

Than I recalled I didn't take my meds yet, and it was after 10 am. Also, there was nothing to eat. However I knew it will take me an hour to get to work, so I took all the meds on an empty stomach, preferring that to not taking them at all.

Of stories news - we had worked yesterday on out first Killjoy fic, and I'm happy with it. It's ready to be submitted for either a treat or a pinch hit, (that one will depend if the story will fit any of the requests the pinch hitter will need to answer to. However, since I wrote that story in 24 hours, I think I will be able to handle even a fresh story in a short time. I know now I can do it.

Also, outside - nice, nice weather - strong winds that nearly pushed me off my feet. And rain is starting. And snow in the north of the country. I hear that everything over 900 m' will get some snow.

I will fucking not come anywhere near facebook in the next week at least.
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
Even if I don't know how good is the story itself, how well did I capture the voices, and so on. But it's something I wanted to for years, and never had the guts to go ahead and do it.

But - I didn't try my own hand. Didn't think I'm good enough, or that my English is good enough, or that I will not get stuck in the first paragraph. I almost reconcile myself to the fact that this is beyond me and not something I can accomplish.

I don't know what forced my hand after all this time into trying. But - here is he lesson of mercy


Jan. 21st, 2016 11:27 pm
ernads: Third season, the 100 (Lexa and Clarke)
Oh,god, look at them, just look at them...

Lexa and Clarke.Third Season.

Please forgive me if it takes me a while to close my mouth. Or, to quote dear,(polite, diplomatic, full of tact...) [personal profile] antongarou, "stop drooling on my laptop." (He also admitted there is a some justification for me to destroy my laptop this way,though:)

But dear god, those two.The amount of firework they manage to produce just in a still picture . I can't imagine the dynamite they will explode when they meet up.

I know there are many who hope Clarke will end up with Bellamy, but - lets be honest here- Had she ever looked at him with so much fire and, well, passion? I don't recall it so. There was love and comradeship and need, but not that. She never looked like that around him.

I really those two end up together,I've never seen a relationship that interested me so much as the one between those two.

day post

Jan. 19th, 2016 11:40 am
ernads: Fenic (Default)
* I feel horrible. As pre-Concerta days. Dizzy, weak, trembling with fatigue, hardy able t think about my pain and fatigue. I assume it has to do with my going down to 18 on Concerta.

* Also, with perfect timing , the damn period have arrived and added it's share. (do you sense the eyeroll through the screen? my eyes almost popped right now.)

* still very much agitated about that DA issue. I desperately want it to end well and I'm desperately afraid it will not.

* Tomorrow is the lactose test. I'm on a 24 hours of strict diet - am not allowed anything but lean meat, eggs, fish, rise, and potatoes. Ah, and milk things, for all the good it will do for me. And starting today at 20:00, I'm on complete fast. That will not be broken before 12 PM tomorrow. That's full fucking 15 hours. Isn't it fun?

* I've got the laptop,however. It's crippled and without most of the thing I need, but at least I will be able to work on mails from home.

* darling [profile] lucy_21 agreed to check my fic for spelling mistakes. Am so happy with that.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
I thought it might be helpful to make a rather small, targeted list of links, rather than one huge monster post that some people (myself, for one) might be intimated by.

So, the following links were all viewed or tried by me.Which does not mean much, I know,as I have no medical training, but I do have a nice salad off issues, so perhaps it gives me some perspective.

*Spoon Theory explained visually

*This is important: your 101 on getting and handling doctor appointments. I had to learn this from zero and was very lucky that a good friend of mine taught me everything there is to know abut this.

*This one I like because it is explaining why one should not second-guess one's pain. Also, good extra links inside


This is one of my favourite, because it fits so much into my own profile and the tips there sound good to me;

Tips for people with chronic illness and busy schedules

Oh, this one is gold. I needed this one.

Heat via cold as pain relief aide

The pain index is always helpful:

Pain Index Scale

* Some good self-help tips:

Self Care tips

* And some self-care tips for when you don't have spoons to think much:

When you don't have the Spoons to Shower

* And for travelling with Chronic illness:

Travelling with chronic illness

* I'm going to try this next time I'm stuck without hitting pads:

Homemade heating pads

* Non-drug tools for pain management. I'm using quite a few of them already and so can attest that there are useful tips here.

Non-drug treatments

* And a last one for this round:
- OTC meds:

OTC meds. Do be careful, but use them when needed

There are more - about ADHD and Fibro and depression and so on. But as said, I do not want a monster post, else I would have just linked that post. Also, there are many dead links there and I'm going over them one by one and checking. It can be quite annoying to read about some promising tip only to run into a dead link.

Good luck and stay safe.
ernads: Fenic (Default)
The one minus with us connecting the laptop to the TV (So that all our Streaming will be on the large screen) is that the computer is also screened on the TV. And me, I can't see much even with the eyeglasses. It's as bad now as it was last year. I will need to go check this soon.

Anyhow. I want to talk about Ingathering. This book has such a profound impact on me. A main reason for this is the story of Lea

The first chapter is told from the viewpoint of Lea,whose story will the "Frame Story". It's the first time I'm reading this kind of storytelling. Usually I'm not fond of this, because I tend to loose track between characters and get lost between different points of view. Not this time; Lea's chapters frame each individual story.

And Lea's story is a story of healing and recovery. I am not far into the book, but even what I read so far I find intensely personal and comforting.

Lea in the first chapter: "my outside is intact-an eggshell sucked of life".

I read this sentence yesterday and winced in pained sympathy. Been there.

And than, after meeting Karen, and hearing her story she is walking outside for the first time since her suicide attempt, and looking around her, and saying this: "I am becoming an entity again. I have form and proportions. I have boundaries and limits".

She is starting to recognize her boundaries, and learn she has a Self. And that is the first stage in healing.


ernads: Fenic (Default)

January 2017

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