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Day post (unlocked)
hey, this used to be my default icon and I didn't use it for ages. I've forgotten how much I loved it :)
Anyhow. Today really was better than expected. I'm even proud of myself;
I've had a horrible time falling asleep last night - was stressed and agitated and unable to snap out of it. Around 2:30 I've hunch that if I'll managed to factorize and decompose this, it might help me enough to snap out of it and fall asleep. So, I composed a post in my most private lock, in which I describe the worst-case scenario that scares me, and why it might not come to pass. (that was something I saw once in Tumblre as a cooping exercise.
Also, I've decided in advance that today will be a half-day at work, since no amount of Concerta will cover for sever lack of sleep, and I will be - irresponsible and selfish to force myself.
It worked very well, I fell asleep within 10 minutes of completing the post, and I was even able to function during the half day. I've explained to the guys that sorry, today I will be going home at 14 since I've had a bad night, and I am not willing to reach collapsing stage again. Made arrangements with N to switch shifts so that tomorrow I will handle the Inbox instead of today instead of him (otherwise it would have been not fair to him) and indeed went home around 14.
So, now after about 90 minutes nap, I'm alert and functioning instead of miserable. Also - I've kept my word to be more aware of safety borders and respected my red lines. That's marked improvement over last month. The Concerta (or sessions with Gita, or self-work, or all three) are finally starting to bear fruit and results over my cognitive abilitis, and I feel a whole lot less hopeless and helpless.
Oh, and another thing - looks like Depalept makes my skin that much more sensitive to the sun. It has a an almost allergic effect. Which might very well explains why a short exposure results with me with rashes on the neck and arms. I need to find a much stronger protection that the one I'm using now.
Anyhow. Today really was better than expected. I'm even proud of myself;
I've had a horrible time falling asleep last night - was stressed and agitated and unable to snap out of it. Around 2:30 I've hunch that if I'll managed to factorize and decompose this, it might help me enough to snap out of it and fall asleep. So, I composed a post in my most private lock, in which I describe the worst-case scenario that scares me, and why it might not come to pass. (that was something I saw once in Tumblre as a cooping exercise.
Also, I've decided in advance that today will be a half-day at work, since no amount of Concerta will cover for sever lack of sleep, and I will be - irresponsible and selfish to force myself.
It worked very well, I fell asleep within 10 minutes of completing the post, and I was even able to function during the half day. I've explained to the guys that sorry, today I will be going home at 14 since I've had a bad night, and I am not willing to reach collapsing stage again. Made arrangements with N to switch shifts so that tomorrow I will handle the Inbox instead of today instead of him (otherwise it would have been not fair to him) and indeed went home around 14.
So, now after about 90 minutes nap, I'm alert and functioning instead of miserable. Also - I've kept my word to be more aware of safety borders and respected my red lines. That's marked improvement over last month. The Concerta (or sessions with Gita, or self-work, or all three) are finally starting to bear fruit and results over my cognitive abilitis, and I feel a whole lot less hopeless and helpless.
Oh, and another thing - looks like Depalept makes my skin that much more sensitive to the sun. It has a an almost allergic effect. Which might very well explains why a short exposure results with me with rashes on the neck and arms. I need to find a much stronger protection that the one I'm using now.